Long time, no see. And all that shit.
I hate fucking account handlers. I hate them so much, I amost like having them around, so I can hate them.
I know they serve a purpose, but then so does Toilet Duck. And I don't want to spend the day with it.
I spent an hour in a client meeting the other week trying to get out of them what they wanted to say. What made them different from the competition - if anything - as what they were saying previously was the same as everyone else.
Eventually we got somewhere. It wasn't hard. You just have to ask the right basted questions to get the right bastard answers.
So, fast forward to yesterday. Our sweet innocent account handler comes over to brief me holding her lovely new brief.
Now Dave Balls was impressed she'd actually managed to count how many people we're going to be in the briefing (3) and had the right ammount of copies of the brief (3). So far so good. Then we sit down and she goes through it.
Sweet Jesus. All she had to do was write the proposition we'd agreed the week earlier. That was all. The rest of the brief was the same. The target audience, the support, the media, everything thing.
Instead, she had decided to simply copy and paste (as far as I could tell) the same old proposition we'd been using the year before.
I mentioned this to her in my usual calm style. And pointed out she'd got the proposition wrong and told her what it should be. She commented on what a good memory I had for remembering. As she hadn't put it in her notes she'd made during the meeting.
I pointed out that it wasn't fucking difficult to fucking forget becasue it was all the fucking fucking fucking fucking meeting was fucking about for a fucking hour.
I remeber a quote from the movie 'Team America", when dictator Kim Jong says "Why is everyone so fucking stupid?"
Could it be because they are all account handlers?
And finally on a lighter note:
How many account handlers does it take to change a light bulb?
Don't let them, they'll fuck it up.
Why did the account handler cross the road?
Who cares as long as he gets run over.
What's the difference between a lorry load of sand and a lorry load of account handlers?
You can't empty a lorry load of sand with a pitchfork.
How many account handlers can you get in a Mini.
As many as you can then drive it off a fucking cliff.
Have a nice bank holiday.
(unless you're an account handler).
